Rewind
by Kyra Marie
Summary: Part 2 of The Breakup Playlist. "We're just different now." "Different is okay. Different is perfect." Nineteen months after he left, Natsume and Mikan meet again. In which they attempt to un-pause.


" _ **Rewind"**_

* * *

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own _Gakuen Alice_ , but I do own the plot in this story.

 **Author's Note:** This is **part 2** of _The Breakup Playlist._ I wrote it as a stand-alone although reading part 1, _Pause_ , would be highly suggested, as a number of scenes here come from it. As always, this follows mainly the anime plot with occasional references to the manga. **Sequence of the stories are on my profile**.

* * *

"I swear, she's the most stubborn girl I've ever met! It's so frustrating!"

Hotaru Imai scoffed, her attention barely on her friend. "That's rich, coming from you."

Mikan Sakura spun so fast her neck almost broke in the process. " _Excuse me_?"

"I don't think anyone knows what stubborn really means until they've met you. You're such an annoying force to be reckoned with, sometimes I don't even bother."

"I'm too tired to argue with you. I'm so drained." Sighing deeply, Mikan laid flat on her seat. "I thought old people were more difficult than kids, you know? But no, these kids, they know what they want and they want exactly that. They wouldn't take a bloody no for an answer. Even if they want the moon, you have to get them the goddamn moon."

As she watched her best friend huff frustratingly, Hotaru eyed her carefully. She noted the defeated slump of the shoulders and the tired, sleep-deprived face. She hardly remembered the last time she had seen Mikan as agitated and as tired as this. Sounding nonchalant, she asked, "You're not about to give up, are you?"

For a moment, Hotaru feared that Mikan would pull the vanishing act again. Mikan was very determined growing up, but for a while, her determination went to different things—mostly absurd. After graduating from Alice Academy, she had a phase where she thought college was the most absurd thing in the world. So instead of university, she got involved with a lot of extra curriculars but once she got tired or bored, she'd move on. To her credit, Mikan _did_ try getting a degree, mostly in agreement with her ex-boyfriend, Natsume Hyuuga. After barely two semesters, though, Mikan decided that it wasn't her thing and eventually ditched the whole idea together. Hotaru had never thought of her best friend as a quitter, but given Mikan's recent history of running away when things got too discouraging, Hotaru had her fears.

Mikan then flashed her the brightest of smiles, "Me? Never."

At age twenty-four, Mikan still marveled at the amazingness of Alices. She had always been competitive. But when she was at the Academy, she realized how, compared to everyone else's Alice, hers could basically do nothing. That's why she tried to make up for other things— she participated in sports fests, led in Alice Festivals, and even aced a few classes here and there. She wasn't smart like Yuu, or popular like Ruka, or smart and popular like Hotaru— but she wasn't completely hopeless.

" _Give it a chance, you'll like it. If you don't, I'll stop."_

Perhaps she was wrong. She didn't have a _great_ Alice… but she was _still_ an Alice.

* * *

"I've been waiting for an hour! Did you even land?"

" _Ruka, you were the one who insisted on getting me. Stop complaining._ "

"I swear," Ruka Nogi scowled at the phone on his hand, "If you're not even on the flight—"

" _Relax, Tarzan_ ," snickered a voice from behind him and echoed by the phone.

He was so glad to see his friend alive that Ruka didn't even bother getting mad over the Tarzan jab. "Nice to see you out of your crisp shirts. Hey, do you have it? Hotaru only bought enough for her appetite."

At the mention of her name, Natsume's mood took a downturn. He drew two small boxes of specialty dark cocoa candies from his bag and shoved it towards Ruka, but not without a jibe: "Your girlfriend is a monster. If the facility wasn't so smitten with her, I'd have shipped her back to Japan in a second."

Ruka huffed his chest proudly. "That's my girl. Turning heads since age ten."

Natsume grumbled about it having been the longest three weeks of his life while Ruka remained unperturbed. Despite the fact that you couldn't place the both of them in a single room without one of them pissing the other off, Ruka was glad that he never had to deal with choosing between his best friend and his girlfriend. He lightly shoved Natsume on the shoulder, "Hey, be nice. She really made an effort on this."

Natsume confusingly stopped mid-step, causing a young lady with long brown hair to bump against him. She scowled and all five-foot-two of her seemed ready to berate him, but just like any other typical female, it only took one glance at Natsume for her to forget all about her frustration. She apologized in a high-pitched voice before hurrying past them, red-faced and all.

With a smirk, Natsume turned back to his friend. "You were saying?"

Knowing the best way to catch him off-guard, Ruka pointed at Natsume's sneakers. "Put on some decent leather shoes. We've got a party to go to."

* * *

Natsume had always believed Ruka was dating the devil incarnate, but he didn't know she was _this_ evil.

He stood in the middle of an expansive ballroom. There were big draping cloths on the ceiling, artfully hanging from the crystal chandelier to the corners of the hall. There was a string quartet playing on the corner. Waiters serving hors d'oeuvres. Bartenders and a mini-bar. People socializing. People from his university. People from the Academy. People he hardly remembered. His former landlady.

And everyone was there for him.

Every. Single. One.

Surely even the Devil himself wasn't as inconsiderate.

"You seem to be enjoying," sniggered the blonde that appeared on his side.

"Koko,"' Natsume nodded in greeting. He had already received a _very enthusiastic_ hug—in the form of a supposedly surprise attack from the back— earlier, which was the reason why Koko was currently sporting a drawn-on cast on his right forearm.

"Why are you so stiff— hey, _ow_ , don't get my cast on fire! Geez, I was just being honest."

"I couldn't care less about so much as looking at anyone during a thirteen-hour flight but look at where I am now."

"I know. Isn't this exciting?"

Natsume rolled his eyes but without a twinge of annoyance. He had to admit, Basel was not as enjoyable as it would have been if he didn't have his friends' pathetic jokes and spontaneity. Even though he was itching to get out of the hall, he was still somehow glad that he actually got to see his friends outside of his phone and laptop screens for a change.

"Have you seen Mikan?" Sumire approached them with a frown. "I need my blazer back."

Koko shrugged. To Natsume's discomfort, Koko turned to him, "Have you?"

He shook his head and was immediately thankful that another person had sought him at that moment.

Natsume didn't know exactly how Mikan did it, but the next time he talked to his friends, _everyone_ knew they broke up and everyone wisely avoided it. Although the past year and so went by quickly, what with him being constantly busy, there were moments when he wondered what could've happened if they stayed together. If maybe the Academy didn't keep them apart—if they didn't let themselves be kept apart.

"Mr. Hyuuga?" prodded the man in front of him. He was a wealthy businessman with a shy but pretty daughter dangling on his arm.

Natsume pulled himself out of his daze. "Of course," he ad libbed flawlessly. He had a knack of being able to answer even without listening to the conversation.

" _You weren't listening, were you?"_

 _A pause. "Yes. But that's a wonderful dress."_

" _You really do love me."_

 _An immediate answer. "I do."_

" _I know, because this is my artist's smock."_

Natsume felt the man opposite him becoming restless about not being paid attention to. Quickly excusing himself, Natsume spun on his heels and went straight for the adjoining balcony, all the while cursing in his mind the sick, vile person who thought organizing the welcoming event was a brilliant idea.

"Speak of the devil," he said lazily as Hotaru Imai shut the sliding door behind her. "I would've appreciated being warned beforehand."

"I'm not doing this for you," she said bluntly.

A familiar twitch moved on his chest. He tried to ignore it. "Really."

"Imagine the prospects and opportunities I'll get if investors found out I'm on a first-name basis with Natsume Hyuuga."

The familiar twitch vanished. What was he expecting? "Technically, we're not," he replied a little too late.

There was a sly smile as realization drew on her face. "Ah," she exclaimed, "You're expecting her."

He opened his mouth to deny it, but was reminded that this was Imai he was talking to. It would be foolish to even try. "Is she here?"

"I didn't know spending nineteen months in a research facility could make you stupid." With a gait that only Hotaru could afford, she turned and left him alone.

* * *

Tell us something about yourself _, they had asked, and_ _Mikan_ _answered in a manner so textbook-perfect, it would've_ _driven_ _Yuu Tobita_ _in tears_ _._

" _We've considered your application," the woman had said. "It's a little different from what we used to get but we can't miss the fact about you being an Alice Academy graduate and intern. Not only that, but you've got a brilliant recommendation."_

" _Right," she said even though it was rhetorical. She debated the pros and cons of including all her work experience and volunteer jobs in her resumé, and although she didn't put everything, Mikan worried that the versatility she was aiming for could translate to carelessness, inconsistency, and disloyalty._

 _She was afraid that what_ he _said was true._

" _Now, it might not be easy since you're entering smack at the middle of the semester, but since you already took some classes before… Well, congratulations, Ms. Sakura. Welcome to the university."_

* * *

" _Where are you_?" an annoyed Sumire grumbled through the phone.

"Chill," Mikan appeased her while signaling the driver to hurry, "I have your blazer."

" _Oh I'm chilly, alright_!"

Mikan tried to properly apply her lipstick as the driver dashed between cars. "How's Hotaru?" Since she had no reason to be early, Mikan stayed at home while Hotaru left early to oversee the hotel preparations.

Mikan figured that if she was going to see Natsume Hyuuga for the first time in almost two years, no way was she getting caught wearing a finger-painted button-down.

" _S_ _he couldn't care less about you_ ," Sumire said airily. " _She's talking to some Arab gentleman on the corner. I bet Natsume doesn't even know him_."

"Oh, you know Hotaru, she seizes every opportunity."

Mikan had this big fear after the breakup that her relationship with her friends would fall apart just like how it did with Natsume. Her friends— well, _most of them_ — had been sympathetic and understanding. However, because one half of the breakup was in Japan and the other in Switzerland, there were a lot of unanswered questions that no one dared ask, and so the unspoken rule was to simply not speak of the breakup at all.

* * *

 _Natsume was an expert in ignoring people._

" _Hyuuga, mail."_

 _Natsume peered at the parcel and letters. There was a bunch of them— from his university, from Ruka, his_ _bank_ _ac_ _count, and from Yuu. For this week, the only parcel was from Ruka._

 _It was a photo of the gang. They were back_ _at_ _the creek for the summer. The photo was taken from the lake, about ten feet from the deck_ _._ _Perched on the deck were Koko and Kitsuneme, their lower bodies drenched in lakewater. Mochu had his arms around Sumire's waist_ _._ _Next to them was Wakako tipping her large floppy hat_ _._ _Yuu seemed funny, what with his horn-rimmed glasses and a can of beer on his hand. Then there was Ruka, Hotaru, and Mikan._

 _Ah, yes._

 _Ruka stood with an easy smile. Perhaps there was something about the light, because even Hotaru's mouth was quirked upwards. Squished between them, her eyes bright and her hair long and wavy, was Mikan._

" _Your friends?"_

 _Another colleague snorted, as if the very idea of Natsume Hyuuga having friends was insane. What would they ever think if they found out that the girl squished between the two honest people he's ever known, the girl people never saw in surprise video calls, probably the nicest and sincerest, was his ex-girlfriend?_

 _But how would they know?_ _Natsume was an expert in ignoring people._

* * *

He felt pathetic. He was hiding from his own party just because he heard that Mikan had arrived. He knew this would happen. They were in the same social circle; avoiding her was impossible.

Through the blinds, he watched her go from table to table, unintentionally acting like a true hostess. If the woman didn't want the awkwardness to grow she should stop acting like his girlfriend.

Natsume sunk back against the tree. It felt a lot like being back at the Academy, ironically enough, when he would peer through the window from a tree to watch her traipse around with someone else.

" _Where've you been all night?"_

" _I saw- heard- you were flirting with the new kid."_

" _I was being nice to him."_

" _Then why did he say you were going on a date?"_

" _We're just having coffee."_

" _That's called a date. Seriously, not even an idiot could miss that."_

Right now, she was talking to a bachelor who he recognized from the business section of the local paper. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the young man was interested; he had all the tell-tale signs Natsume recognized from years of observation. The fact that the man couldn't even take his eyes off from Mikan and her bare shoulders were enough warning signals.

Natsume knew how very jealous he seemed at that moment, and it was even more infuriating that he couldn't stop staring at Mikan and her new friend...

She should've fixed this.

* * *

He should've fixed this.

To everyone, she was the one who got left. It would've been pitiful if she was the one who approached him first- she at least had some pride left, even when it came to a drop-dead gorgeous brooding hunk whose very presence in public should be illegal. Now she had to busy herself with a hundred people just so she wouldn't end up answering her friends' questions of where the crap the celebrant was.

Who cared where he was? He couldn't even bother saying _hi_ to her.

Shinichi's a young businessman who had recently developed a phone app that she secretly thought was the most useless ever, but he seemed so proud of it that she didn't have the heart to pull a Hotaru Imai. Mikan smiled and nodded even though she was pretty sure Shinichi was only using the big words to be obnoxious.

"No," Koko whispered as he turned up next to her, "He's doing it to impress you." To a very disgruntled Shinichi, he said, "Pardon me, good sir, I need my lady friend for a moment. Please enjoy the food and have a good night!"

"What did you need your lady friend for?" Mikan asked when Koko successfully steered him away. Despite her curiosity, she couldn't help but heave a sigh of relief; not only was Shinichi an insufferable conversationalist, he also had terrible hygiene. Maybe she should be Santa this year and give him an anonymous gift in the form of toiletries?

"Nothing," Koko snickered devilishly. "I did it to save you."

"From what?"

"Well, first is from the not-so-good sir who looked ready to devour you on the middle of the dance floor— _ow, not the cast!_ —and second, I did it for the very unamused celebrant."

"Natsume?" Mikan frowned. "Why him?"

He looked at her incredulously. "Why not him?"

* * *

" _Hotaru and I think you should start dating again."_

 _Hotaru scoffed from behind the menu. "Leave me out of this."_

 _Ruka regarded her exasperatedly before turning back to Mikan. "Fine. I think you should start dating again."_

 _Mikan frowned. "Thank you, Ruka, for your concern, but no, thanks."_

 _They were having dinner in one of the hotels Ruka was staying at for the weekend, but what Mikan thought was an innocent catching up with her two wonderful friends turned into an interrogation by her best friend's boyfriend._

" _It's been what, six months? I'm pretty sure you could get started now. You're starting over with a new school, a new job-"_

" _Yes, which means I'm busy," Mikan said forcefully._

" _That never stopped you before."_

" _If she doesn't want a boyfriend, let her be," a bored-sounding Hotaru interjected. She flipped the menu. "Now, do you want the unagi or the sanma?"_

 _Ruka didn't look like he wanted to let it go and was only thankful that Mikan spoke next, "Why are you even asking me? You of all people should be discouraging me from even so much as looking at another person."_

" _If you guys think you weren't good for each other, then maybe that's the truth. How should I know? I never meddled with your relationship."_

" _How's that working out for you?" Hotaru muttered, referring to Ruka's current obsessive concern over Mikan's dating life._

" _I need to focus on getting my certification," Mikan explained patiently. "This is my chance, and I really want to pull this off."_

 _Ruka glanced at Hotaru for help who merely shrugged and said, "You heard her. I'm not about to become a Hyuuga and tell her how to live her life."_

* * *

"Hey," Mochu called from below, "Come down for a second."

Natsume peered down before taking the terrifying leap that, should Mochu had been fifteen years younger, would have caused him to pray to fifty saints in five seconds. "What's up?"

"I didn't want to hand it in front of the others," Mochu handed him a haphazardly-wrapped package that would have given Sumire a panic attack. It was a thin, rectangular parcel no bigger than a tablet, but its shape was almost imperceptible with the needless layers of thick brown wrapping paper and the overdone pompous ribbon that looked as if it had been sat on.

But this was from his friend, and so Natsume, though hardly sentimental, thought it was, so far, the most personal thing he had received that night.

"What's this supposed to be?" he asked as he turned the parcel over his hands. He had a pretty good inkling what it was in general. No amount of wrapping paper could actually disguise what a book looked like, despite Mochu's efforts to disguise it (or did he, really?).

Mochu shrugged, a playful grin on his lips. "A gift long overdue."

Natsume opened the package, which was fairly easy with how it was wrapped. He took a long look at the cover and gave Mochu a deadpan look, "This is mine."

His grin grew wider. "I know, but you haven't seen that in about what, six? Five years?"

Natsume turned over the manga and ran his hand along the thick spine. "About," he said absentmindedly, but he knew it was a good seven years old.

" _Can you stop looking at your stupid comic and talk to me?"_

" _Shh, give me a sec, Mikan."_

" _Honesty hour._ _Who would you save first in a burning building?'_

 _He tossed the book towards Mochu. "Let's not go there."_

"I decided against returning it because I could've sworn the secrets to your high school career is somewhere here," Mochu joked, "But it's against my morals to keep something that isn't mine."

"My secret is my face, Mochiage. I already told you that."

"Huh. Could've sworn it was your pleasing personality." He pursed his lips as if wondering whether he should say what he wanted to say. "Aren't you coming in?"

"I'll stay outside for a while. Last I heard, the party isn't even mine."

"Hotaru didn't mean that. And besides, someone's been wanting to speak to you."

Something strange filled his chest. Could it be? Was Mikan finally ready to talk to him? Granted, he's never done anything to show her that he was interested but who knew, maybe a cocktail or two had changed that.

Absentmindedly, Natsume ran a hand through his hair and even made an effort to straighten his tie. He buttoned his cufflinks and tried to seem inconspicuous as he did these. Mochu led the way, not forgetting to note the subtle movements his friend was doing. He didn't need a master's degree to figure that out.

* * *

Natsume's face immediately morphed into a scowl when he saw Narumi. He wasn't sure if this was Mochu's modus to get him back inside the party, but his friend had succeeded and now Natsume was stuck in the company of three Academy teachers, a businessman, and a professor.

When had he become too polite to excuse himself from a conversation he was forcibly put in?

"So, Natsume," Narumi started, his grin far too big to be branded as innocent. "How was Switzerland?"

Dr. Lee chuckled. He was one of the professors Natsume had acquainted with once or twice in Switzerland, someone who seemed to have made it his life goal to study in universities across the world. There weren't a lot of people that Natsume respected, but Dr. Lee was one of them. "He was like the gift of the gods to the facility, I tell you."

Natsume took his words back. This was _not_ a person he respected.

"I know what you mean," Narumi chuckled with the humor of a parent. "You could just imagine how crazy people were, and I know just the person who can spend hours going on about him. As a matter of fact, here she is."

* * *

 _Narumi was just about to get to the dining area when he noticed that Mikan was lounged in a corner of a room._

" _Mikan, breakfast?"_

 _It took a while for her to hear him. She was fingering through the pages of her old yearbook, the copy that Narumi was sure belonged to the teachers' lounge. He couldn't see what page she was on, but surely there could only be one reason why Mikan seemed so interested on a photo when she could easily phone anyone._

" _Oh, just looking at something," she excused herself, quickly closing the yearbook shut. The well-thumbed pages, he noticed, were at the middle, and knowing full well the layout of Academy yearbooks as the consultant and also as Alice Time's newspaper adviser, Narumi knew she was scanning the pages that contained compilation of photos from the graduates. "Did you know Koko got voted 'Most Likely to Win the Lottery and Lose the Ticket'? That actually happened to him a couple of months ago. Hotaru said she's never laughed harder!"_

 _He knew she was lying, of course, but he didn't have the heart to tell her that he knew what she was doing. "Hotaru laughing? Now that's a sight for sore eyes."_

 _"Don't let her catch you saying that," Mikan warned him. She had placed back the yearbook and was in a rush to get out of the lounge. "When she got voted Best-Looking Female, she threatened to sue and change it, but of course you can't rig yearbook results. Electoral results, probably," she added as a joke._

 _"What else did you win that year?" Narumi asked, but then he remembered that Mikan and Natsume had a couple of yearbook awards themselves. "I think Koko and Kitsuneme got voted Best Bromance," he added in a hurry._

 _"Nope, that honor belonged to Ruka and..." she cleared her throat, "Ruka and Natsume. But Koko and Kitsu got honorable mentions for being consistent competitors."_

 _Narumi wanted to apologize; he wanted to avoid the subject, but for some reason, conversations usually revert to Natsume. He also wanted to tell her about a conversation he had with a_ _former colleague at one of the European Alice research facilities who visited the Basel branch and talked about an "interestingly brilliant young chap" who unfortunately spent too much time alone._

 _Wherever Natsume was, Narumi had a feeling he, too, was thinking about her._

 _Yet because this was his students' decisions, and because he also had a hand in separating the two, Narumi decided it was best to allow things to follow its own course this time around. What was bound to happen will happen._

* * *

Sumire Shouda spent half of her Academy life with Wakako Usami leading a fan club that worshipped Natsume Hyuuga. Sumire was blunt, sure, arrogant, and a close friend of Natsume, which was why no one ever challenged her presidency. For the latter parts of their high school years, Natsume was thankful for Sumire. If anyone could tame the fanbase, it was her. And despite her relationship with Mochu, her loyalty for Natsume never wavered.

That was why Sumire did what she thought she had to do.

Sumire was not effective as a matchmaker. She hardly cared about other people's relationships. But since she was the first person in their group who had the guts to enter into a relationship— with an eighteen-year-old Somatic who broke her heart, that son of a witch— she was usually the first one being approached when it came to boy troubles.

And when Mikan stopped going to her for that reason, Sumire had two reactions: first, _Thank god she's okay_ , and second, _Oh no, she can't!_ Yet despite harboring an inane desire to bring Mikan and Natsume back together, Sumire never did know everything about the breakup, so she never went into a full-on meddlesome role.

Until that moment.

"He was really nice about it too," she went on, "Even when he kept losing his pens and ties." To answer the frown on her audience's faces, "What? Don't tell me you didn't know why you were always losing them!"

"You got me detention for not wearing a tie!" Natsume accused her.

"Please, you never got enough detention with the amount of trouble you pulled."

Narumi laughed. "She's right, you know. I could barely count the number of times I _wanted_ to send you to detention."

Misaki snorted. "You never gave him so much as a warning. Your day was never complete without it."

"No, it's because I know he's going to enjoy detention so I never bothered." Narumi turned to Mr. Akiyama, a business mogul who was also an Alice Academy alumna. "Ah, you couldn't imagine how Natsume was like then! He was such a troublemaker, but a very smart one. He could miss my class for a whole week and he'd still get higher marks than the whole grade."

"He slept in my class most of the time and still came on top," Serina Yamada commented. "You must know, dear boy, how many times we bent the rules for you."

Despite it, Natsume couldn't help but show his amusement. He thought it was out of politeness, but then realized it was intentional. Most of the people he met at the Academy were actually good to him. These were people who tried to protect him and tried to lessen the hurt when things were intolerable.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" someone grumbled from behind. Natsume's smile froze. "Can you stop moving around so much? Here," Mikan appeared in front of him, handing Sumire a blazer. She turned to say hi to the rest of the group.

Until she saw Natsume Hyuuga staring right back at her.

And although she knew it was bound to happen, it didn't make meeting him any easier.

* * *

" _I think you're better off without each other," Wakako declared as she peeled open a new tub of ice cream. "Someone as perfect as Natsume doesn't need to have an understanding girlfriend. Otherwise he'd have it all."_

" _Be nice, Usami," Sumire told her off before gently addressing Mikan. "Look at it this way. You guys just spent so much time together that you were bound to get tired eventually."_

" _Must be nice to have learned about that before ten years passed," Mikan mumbled. She stabbed her ice cream a couple of times before breaking into another wail, "It's just not fair!"_

" _Sweetheart, it's never going to be fair," Sumire said comfortingly, before switching moods, "I mean, for one, he has a job." Wakako shook her head. Sumire muttered, "What? You were thinking it."_

" _You just gave me a hard time for trying to tell her how it is!" Wakako retorted._

 _Mikan sniffed. Her grip on her spoon loosened as she dried her face. "No, you're both right. I don't even know why I'm crying. I was okay, I mean, we broke up way before he left the apartment. We had dinner together and everything. I was_ okay, _" she hiccuped, "It's just… years down the drain, you know? Once it sunk in, it came to me that it's_ never _going to be the same again."_

" _Look at how far you both have gone," Wakako sighed, patting Mikan's back. "Considering all the complications atop of your personal… complications, you guys were pretty good together." She was about to add that they could all do without their constant fighting and silly bets, but figured it was neither the place nor time for it._

" _Be glad that it happened, regardless of how long it lasted, right?" Sumire added as she sprinkled crumbled brownies over Mikan's ice cream. "Come on, eat up."_

 _This was probably one of the worst advices you could give someone after a breakup, but it was exactly what Mikan needed to hear. Her friends were right- and although the breakup was bound to happen, it didn't hurt less._

 _After two more days of self-pity, Mikan left Sumire and Wakako's apartment for the Academy. There, she taught a class of newcomers and sat as the temporary adviser for the Special Ability Class. Here she discovered that her Alice was effective against new Alices and the occasional tantrums and emotional outbursts._

 _Some nights, she would call one of her friends to ask how they were doing, because despite being in a place where she belonged, it didn't feel as homey as it used to be. After two weeks, she got a visit from Yuu and Koko, where they spent an afternoon at Central Town. A couple of days after, she was surprised by Ruka and Hotaru, with cupcakes from Anna and a new scarf from Sumire._

 _When she had no one to talk to and nothing to do, Mikan began doing things she didn't usually do. She started reading some more, tried to work on her painting, and even attempted to study Chinese. She read books on history, literature, and art. She kept herself occupied and busy, until she stopped thinking about him first thing in the morning and right before bed._

 _Sometimes someone would ask her about Natsume, but she kept it simple: they fell out of love. She let the reasons remain in her heart: they stopped choosing each other._

 _She knew it wasn't easy for her friends. They went from being in love and inseparable to having a continent and a breakup between them. When the gang would get together and Ruka would phone Natsume (because really, there was no way Hotaru would willingly do that), she would leave the room pretending to be busy with a phone call, the dishes, or even lady troubles. In the rare few times that neither of them could make an escape, they kept their exchanges curt with a nod; everyone wisely let them be, not forcing anyone to talk or settle differences or mend ties. De_ _spite having a technically clean breakup, neither made a move to talk to the other._

 _Whatever words were left unsaid, they figured, were best left unsaid._

 _And so Mikan tried to go through the days, getting over the excruciating heartache she didn't expect to have, trying to fill in the hole where Natsume once was. She was going to get better, she knew, until one day, Mikan would be ready to face Natsume again._

* * *

This wasn't how they were supposed to meet.

In Mikan's mind, it was supposed to be dramatic. She wanted to act as if seeing him didn't bother her anymore, but it was all her goddamn knees' faults. They just couldn't stay put and started trembling once Natsume was in front of her. And the fact that he knew what he could do with his eyes… it was no question what she saw in that boy. He swooped in looking so devilishly handsome. She was so much like a fangirl, so much like all the people seeking for Hotaru's hand that night. It was worse than being back in high school. It was pathetic.

She cleared her throat, "Hello."

"There you are, Mikan," Narumi smiled, beckoning her forward. Mikan reluctantly moved closer to the group. "Did you just get here?"

"Sort of," Mikan replied, struggling to keep her voice still. "I just came from work."

"She tutors kids on the weekends," Narumi explained to the rest, yet she had a feeling it was more for _his_ benefit.

"Where do you teach?" one of the guests asked. Although she practically drifted from one guest to another since she arrived, she figured the reason she hadn't seen them was because they seemed like the group of people who were there for Natsume, and things that concerned Natsume, Mikan had a good radar of.

It wasn't entirely because she was avoiding him, no. It was because Mikan knew that there were things best left untouched and unbothered. When Natsume flew to Switzerland, he took a piece of her heart. She never claimed it back, and she thought it was for the best. Avoiding him wasn't because she still harbored feelings towards him; she avoided him because that was how it had been for them for the past year and so. They kept everything else curt and somehow civil. This thing, being thrown together in an intimate circle, was the furthest they have ever been since the breakup. It didn't feel normal. In fact, for some reason, Mikan felt that she was cheating on herself.

"A weekend tutor center for kindergarteners," Mikan explained. She debated whether she should down her whole glass, but one look at Natsume might send her choking to her death. "They're a really sweet bunch… Just a bit messy at times. But I got some pretty good practice with the kids back at the Academy."

"The Academy?" someone else asked with a smile.

"That's nice," Natsume said, interrupting Mikan's would-be reply.

If that was code for " _I'm sorry for everything that happened between us_ " then she had half a mind to tell him, but no, for some reason, he really meant that _it was nice._

Whatever the facility injected on him, she was pretty sure Hotaru needed some of it.

Mikan wet her suddenly parched lips before replying, "Thank you."

A moment of silence.

"These are Dr. Lee and Mr. Akiyama," Sumire said, breaking the hiatus, "They both know Natsume from Basel."

"Mikan here," Serina gestured, "Was a temporary TA at the Academy as a last minute favor that spanned for over three months."

"And how do you know Natsume?" Mr. Akiyama wanted to know.

Mikan resisted the urge to insist that she be asked a follow-up on Serina's introduction instead but then she realized it wasn't a regular Academy function. Despite the people who flocked over for Hotaru's benefit, the party was intended for Natsume Hyuuga. If this man knew how much Natsume meant to her, he probably would have wisely skipped that question.

Even Misaki, who was among the faculty who wholly insisted that the students' personal lives be a completely different matter therefore Narumi had absolutely no business butting in, awkwardly averted his eyes from the group.

For two widely-acclaimed people in their professions, Dr. Lee and Mr. Akiyama were a tad delayed on social cues. The discomfort was obvious from the different shades of red that Mikan had just turned, but to everyone's surprise, it was Natsume who spoke.

"We were in the same class—" he heard someone cough "—and dated for a while."

"Ah," Dr. Lee finally nodded in understanding, "Well, don't let us keep you, Miss Sakura."

Mikan took her early thoughts back. Dr. Lee was now her new friend. "Thank you, I'll see you later—"

"Actually it's been a while," Natsume held her arm just as she was about to turn. He immediately let her go, realizing that physical contact after almost two years was something they probably weren't ready yet. His eyes drifted on the arm he just held before coming to his senses; "If you don't mind?"

Mind what, Mikan wondered, because right now all she was thinking about was how looking at Natsume had absolutely nothing on how the man held her for two seconds.

She needed to leave. This was all too much.

"You know," Narumi started, and both their heads snapped back to Narumi in guilt, as if all their dirty thoughts were heard, "You two were such a funny pair in high school. It was a real treat whenever you would end up in the same class."

"Like you never had a hand in that," Misaki coughed.

Natsume immediately scowled. He hardly cared much about Narumi but knew him well enough to know that he was always the first to meddle with other people's affairs. He used to think it was limited to his students but seeing that familiar glint in his eyes reminded him of the many times he tried to pair people up in his classes.

He also knew Narumi cared about Mikan very, _very_ much.

"Interesting. He wasn't that type of person when he was at Basel," Dr. Lee chuckled. "He seemed eager to do his tasks even if they were at his expense. He did them in record speed before going back to his room. It sometimes felt like having an angsty teenager under the roof."

Mikan made a funny sound, and they all looked at her in surprise. Looking like a deer caught in the headlights, she sent a hasty apology and chugged down half of her champagne.

"Look at you," Natsume jibed back, "A kindergarten teacher when you can barely contain Youichi."

"He leaves for a year and thinks he's the only one who's changed," she smiled wryly.

" _We're just… different now."_

 _Different is okay. Different is perfect._

"You were at Basel for a year?" Mr. Akiyama said in surprise.

"Yes," Mikan answered for him, her eyes never leaving Natsume's. "He spent a year in Europe for research."

"And all this time I thought you were working at one of the local facilities. I _was_ wondering why all the fuss for such a small breakthrough," the businessman tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm. Basel. I must go there next. How was it?"

"Enlightening," he replied, his eyes also on Mikan.

" _What about you?"_

" _What about me?"_

* * *

 _Hotaru Imai was the greatest thing that happened to the Basel research facility since Natsume Hyuuga's arrival eight months ago._

 _Natsume didn't join the welcoming party when Hotaru arrived, instead he waited for her at her designated lab, knowing it was the first thing she would visit. And like most things, he was not wrong; she had arrived in less than an hour._

" _Hyuuga," she greeted him, not surprised where he was. Natsume merely nodded in greeting. He waited for her to open her new lab and to stroll around. He watched as she picked up some of her tools, checking its durability and the variations, despite having them all personally picked and prepared two weeks before she arrived in Basel._

" _Why choose here?" he asked as Hotaru took out the contents of her tool box for inspection._

" _I didn't. The Academy did."_

 _As a Technical Ability student, Hotaru had many liberties Natsume never had, but that didn't mean the Academy did not make use of Alices like her. She, too, was often given offers, offers that wouldn't come if the Academy wasn't so afraid of the possibility of the opposing side recruiting her. This instance, the three-week stint at Basel, was one of those offers._

" _How's…" he started, but figured he wasn't brave enough to ask, so he said instead, "How long are you here for?"_

" _I just arrived and you already want me to leave? I didn't know you despised me that much, Hyuuga."_

" _Despise wouldn't be the word I'd use." He paused. "I would prefer something worse."_

" _I'd be happy to relay this to Ruka."_

" _You do that."_

 _Before he was completely out of the door, Hotaru called him back in. He turned and she handed him a thick parcel. "Here," she said without looking at him, her mind completely enamored by her temporary lab, "Don't read it here. I can't stand crying."_

" _Then how are you still with Ruka?" He said lightly, but his hand had held on the parcel extra hard. This was home at the palm of his hand._

 _A part of her could be in that parcel._

" _Go away. I'm working."_

* * *

Ever since Kitsuneme started going overseas as an art consultant, he made it a point to bring home a drinking tradition to his friends, saying that he was too broke to buy each one a present. And so that evening, in the complementary presidential suite of the hotel, most of the gang got to enjoy leftover food and drinks. Koko, cast-free and still somehow sober, together with Kitsuneme, took it upon themselves to declare world peace through beer pong.

"What game are we playing?" Sumire asked. She was sitting on the dining table, playing with the caps of beer bottles. Beside her, Nonoko seemed fixated with her drink. She nudged her, "Hey, stop working. Nothing good will come out of dissecting how much alcohol is really in that bottle. We all know it's not five percent. Just look at Yuu."

"I'm not working," Nonoko mumbled, her mind completely distracted. "I'm trying to relax. This calms me down."

Sumire shook her head before turning back to the rest to repeat her question, "What are we playing?"

"It's a game we like to call," Mochu paused for a dramatic drumroll, "' _Is Ruka drunk?_ '"

"I'm not drunk," Ruka retorted, but two succeeding hiccups betrayed him.

Hotaru scowled. "I am not taking you home like that. You're staying here." She stood up and gathered her things. "I'm going to do some work next door. Please don't break the windows again or I will use your skin to piece them back together."

Koko whooped as soon as Hotaru was out of earshot. "Momma's gone, party's on!"

"What's the point of this?" Natsume asked out loud. "Imai could get investors even without throwing a party. Why does she need me?"

"Maybe she's trying to get you two back together," Ruka suggested. He was squished between Mikan and Natsume in the sitting room, his cheeks red and his eyes criss-crossed in pure drunkenness.

"Hotaru doesn't like him that much to do that." Mikan laughed. "Must be nice though, to have everyone important to you in one place."

"I don't need a ballroom for that," Natsume said after a while as he looked around their small party. It was reminiscent of the night before he left for Europe, of the going-away party that Yuu organized for him because he couldn't let his friend leave without celebrating it properly. It was also the last night Mikan and Natsume pretended that they were still dating for the sake of appearances.

His eyes met Mikan's. The flush on her cheeks told him she already crossed the number of drinks she allowed herself publicly. Sober she's forceful, stubborn, and fierce. Drunk, she was ten times more, oozing with confidence and a devil-may-care attitude. She stubbornly held his gaze and stayed there until Ruka interrupted.

"My girlfriend has way too much money and has no idea how to dispose of it?"

Even Natsume snorted at the incredulity of his statement. "Tell her to pay my ticket next week then."

"Where are you going?" Mikan asked. He couldn't figure out if it was out of curiosity or of mere politeness.

"He's going back to Basel," Ruka answered for him. "Didn't seem to have found anything here worth staying for."

Mochu, who caught the last bit of the conversation, laughed. "Drunk Ruka is the best. Hey, Kitsu, let's get Ruka back in the next game!" With that, he dragged Ruka away from Natsume's table, leaving the latter alone with Mikan.

She can't believe she tried to avoid him all night only to fall in the same spot. She should've known life always had a funny way of bringing them together.

It wasn't that she wasn't over the breakup- even before they broke up, they knew they were already growing apart. But what were you supposed to say to someone you haven't spoken in over a year and a half?

Natsume was hardly just a classmate. She spent nights on the rooftop with him and early mornings at Central Town. She went to bookstores and groceries and even flower shops while attached to his hip. They ate in restaurants and cafes arguing over whose food tastes better. They kissed under the moonlight and laughed under the stars, and the sunlight beamed on them as they talked and slept the afternoons away. And by god, no friend would kiss like _he_ did.

"Ruka told me you were studying," not-a-friend said.

Mikan shook her head. She needed to get a grip of herself. "Yeah, for a year now." She took a drink. "How— how are you?"

"Good, I… I just got back."

She pursed her lips. "Yes. I noticed."

It was his turn to take a gulp of his drink. His clammy hands reached for the bottle on the table to refill.

"From now on everyone drinks with their left hand," Kitsuneme stumbled in their conversation. "Otherwise you're paying for midnight _izakaya_."

To this day, Natsume was still surprised at how his friends possessed the uncanny ability of aptly interfering when things got uncomfortable. Either that or they were all involved in a devious plan that he was pretty sure even Mikan didn't miss. The only person who didn't seem like a schemer that night was Yuu, but that was probably because he was already half-asleep on the stool near the bathroom after two succeeding projectile vomits.

"Even an _oden-ya_ would refuse to serve you at this state. Go sit down, Kitsu."

"Hey, I got this from the American Buffalo Club Association so you better show some respect."

Natsume snorted. "There's no American Buffalo Club Association."

"Yes there is. See, I got my lifetime card from Macau!"

"Why is your American card from Macau then?"

"Because I got it from the Macau chapter. Jesus, Hyuuga. And I thought you were the smartest guy in the room."

Mikan laughed out loud at this.

"Judging from your nonexistent progress," Kitsu continued, "Obviously not."

Natsume and Mikan both amusingly watched Kitsuneme's retreating back, his left hand occupied with a drink and his right using his Buffalo Club card to scratch his head.

"Is it just me or has he gotten more insufferable when drunk?"

"You know," Mikan started, her legs finally uncrossing and her feet free from her uncomfortable shoes, "We're not the only ones who changed. Ruka says it's growing old, but I think it's growing up. We're hardly ever complete, too. You're pretty darn special to get everyone back together again."

It was true, but Natsume wasn't about to admit it out loud. He knew it wasn't easy to get people in one room; he's heard enough from Ruka about it. Aside from Yuu and Mikan, Ruka was the other person who was incessant with getting everyone together at least once a month. He tried not to make it seem like a duty, but Ruka had problems distancing himself from them. Imai would often say he was annoyingly clingy and that she considers breaking up with him at least twice a week, but Natsume understood why, in the same way Mikan would often try to be there for everyone: they were family.

"Do you still go to the creek?" he asked her. They were family, yes, but once upon a time, this woman was the only person he could imagine creating a family with. Finally seeing her after so long felt like finding something he lost a long time ago.

"We went last summer, like we used to. I've been there twice in the past three months. It's a good place to relax even though you're alone. Driving was a pain but I got the hang of it by my third solo trip."

Natsume remembered how Mikan was almost never alone back when they were younger. She was always doing something and she always had someone with her. Now she was taking four-hour-long drives alone.

"Anyway, like I said, you weren't the only person we didn't get to see." She pulled out her phone and went straight to the gallery, accompanying her narrative with snapshots. "We barely got to talk to Anna. She went straight to culinary school after that summer job at the maid cafe, look, this is Koko visiting her. Mochu's been going to school too and he's trying to juggle like three jobs at a time. Kitsu's been going places so good for him… You could barely get Nonoko out of the library… Sumire's graduating in a year, running for honors... And you know Hotaru. I think I see more of Ruka than her."

"I saw Imai way more than I wanted to."

"When she went to Switzerland, right?" Mikan smiled. He noticed that it didn't seem forced or polite anymore. "I remember. She told me and asked if I wanted to send you something because everyone else was. She didn't try to get us back together, that was all Ruka…But Hotaru has her ways, so I wrote you a letter that went cover to cover."

"I never got it."

"I never sent it." She swiped to the next photo, leaving the conversation. "Here's my first day of school!"

He voiced the question that he initially thought was too tactless to ask; "How'd you pull that off?"

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise," Natsume assured her before sipping from his glass. It barely buzzed him any more than the lady in front of him did.

" _Tell him. Trust me, the guy's in love with you. Whatever happens, you'll be okay_."

She took a deep breath. "The Academy helped me."

"Huh," Natsume was silent for a second. He avoided her gaze and stirred the contents of his glass. "No strings attached? No contract loopholes? No pledge of allegiance?"

"Not a thing. If they need a substitute teacher, I'll be more than willing." She added in an afterthought, "Except Jin-jin's. Years later and he _still_ hasn't warmed up to me."

She proceeded to tell him everything about the Academy, how she spent her mornings having tea in the pavilion and late afternoons buying flowers at Central Town. How she spent her nights up on the roof even though the faculty housing had its own terrace. She told him about her students who were new to the Academy and were awkward and afraid, and how Youichi would avoid her eye whenever he got detention.

"I had a lot of fun there," Mikan finally said. "I know you don't like it, you don't have to say so. But the Academy's been nice to me this whole time. They gave me a big opportunity and this made me go to university."

"It took a breakup to learn that?" Natsume said, although it was meant to be a joke it seemed to be too soon to be making it. He regretted it when her eyes lost its sparkle from her stories.

"If you could rewind everything and had the chance to redo… would you?" He didn't answer. She went on, "I loved you so much and I was _so_ happy when we were together, but I think getting separated like that… Like really separated, it did us good. I don't think I'd have become this person if it weren't for it."

It was funny that she had turned him down way before he even asked her, but he knew what she said was true. They probably wouldn't turn out as they did now if they were still reliant on each other. Before they broke up, they had already started drifting apart, but both of them kept holding each other back in some way or the other. Natsume had things to do, places to go, while Mikan was still trying to figure things out. They were already completely different persons while together, but actually being apart and being away from the other, knowing that you didn't have someone to come home to when it's three AM and things are too much to handle, altered the way they saw and lived from then on.

For Natsume, it was learning and accepting that he can't possibly do everything on his own for eternity. It was learning to rely on other people even for the little things. For a long time, he had gotten used with doing things alone, at his own pace, on his own terms. Granted, he had the Academy's rules to consider, but for the most part, Natsume did everything on his own. Being in Basel where he wasn't solely a test subject but considerably a significant person in research writing, had taught him of working with and being considerate of other people. At first, it wasn't easy. He couldn't understand why some people there were torpid, irrelevant, and shortsighted. It felt like he was wasting twice as much time waiting on the insensate when he could easily accomplish just as much alone at half the time... but he eventually learned that some things weren't like missions where a millisecond decision is a life saved or wasted.

Mikan, on the other hand, remained in the comforts of the Academy but outside the company of her friends. Frankly put, Mikan learned how to be alone. It taught her the particular significance and unexpected exhilaration of doing things without someone else's help, consent, or approval. She learned things in the midst of her self-discovery; she started eating, reading, and learning alone. She found out that there was a vast difference between being alone and being lonely, and that there was nothing wrong with not being surrounded by a hundred friends, or with choosing to do things outside the company of other people. At first it was because she had no choice but eventually she started to take pleasure in it. Mikan learned how to be happy alone.

"I really am thankful, you know," Mikan genuinely smiled up at him. "Hotaru said I'm happier now, then again she could just be saying that because she hates you. But even Ruka keeps telling me I'm blooming. Even said I might be pregnant, which we both know is impossible since sex couldn't save our relationship. I guess it makes all the difference when you find what you're really meant to do."

"You're living quite the life, Sakura," Natsume finally admitted. Even someone like him couldn't deny how she had lit up once she started talking about her work, her school, basically her new life. Everything that she now had that he's not a part of, the life that she has that he didn't help her get.

And even though he probably wouldn't admit it out loud yet, it was better than all he had ever planned and dreamed for her.

"It's incredible, you know. It's not like I'm in a whole different country, I went to the same Academy, I went back to the same university, and now I live in Hotaru's living room but everything feels new and amazing. In the beginning I was _so_ miserable, I was lonely and I didn't understand for crap why you had to fly to Europe and why you couldn't stay, which isn't fair because it was our mutual decision to go our separate ways. Before I took the teaching post I cried on Sumire and Wakako's doorstep and emptied the ice cream freezer in all convenience stores at a ten-mile radius. But then when I stopped worrying and crying and feeling sorry for myself, I let me become happy. Do you know I can speak Chinese now? It's very rusty, and I'm not very good yet, but I can hold a basic conversation. Hotaru was so proud, she took me to Chinatown and made me haggle."

Finally, it dawned on Natsume that this was her, she was back. Although she wasn't the same person anymore, she had back her unmissable spark and contagious effervescence. Mikan was comfortable and talkative, and he couldn't imagine her being anything, or anywhere else.

This was home to him, and it was only then that he finally felt that he was back.

"And the more I think of it, the more I realize how a really, _really_ , good boyfriend you were."

"Mikan, if you want to go to bed with me, all you had to do was ask."

She laughed, and it was a genuine one this time, not anymore the polite one he had heard way too much. "I'm serious, though," she said after a while. "You didn't know what to do, and I didn't know what to do _with you_ , but for some bizarre reason, we actually made it work. When we broke up, I thought that to get over you, I needed to forget you, but of course that wouldn't work. We were bound to see each other again. So I just let life take over, until I stopped thinking about you… which helped. And then eventually, I just remember the good times. There were a lot of them, I realized, we just didn't remember because we were always looking for more. You wanted me to be someone I wasn't, and I hated you when you were becoming this entirely different person and then expecting me to just pick up after you… See, I was so petty, I stopped seeing how good of a boyfriend you really are and how much you tried to make it work, too."

"But in the end, we just stopped."

Mikan's smile had turned sad upon this point, but it was one reminiscent of the relationship they wasted over pride, and not a smile that had gone upset over regret. "Yeah. In the end, we just stopped." She cleared her throat and just like that, the wistfulness faded away. "I think I'll see you later." With one deep breath, she emptied the contents of her glass before gathering her things and her wits.

He stood up, slightly knocking over the table. Some of their friends peered from their seats at the dining room but they all pointedly ignored the exchange when they noticed the intensity of the unfolding (or rather withdrawing) conversation. "I'll take you home."

"I'll get a cab."

"I don't want you to take a cab," he said. She didn't reply. "Tomorrow's Sunday." A pause. "Have coffee with me."

In the past year, Mikan had conjured up a lot of make-believe situations in her head, among it was Natsume swooping back to Japan not long after his stay in Europe. He would apologize and they would reunite and not argue anymore about what the other person wanted to do, and they would be happy just like they were before.

But when months passed and Natsume's contract extended, the daydreams faded from her mind as she immersed herself with new things and new people: her books, her crafts, her students. Gradually, the distance hardly bothered her. The lack of closure stopped hurting. And slowly, she started to learn more about the things she discovered alone, and probably could never learn if she were still with him.

Yet for some reason, tonight opened up a lot of things she hid away from almost two years ago.

For some reason, despite baring her heart and soul, she couldn't let it go beyond that. Because even though Mikan Sakura knew she was different from the person he left on the airport all those months ago, she was pretty sure one more lingering sight of him wouldn't be easy for her to resist. It was exactly that- opening up to him- that made her realize she was in danger, and no amount of one-sided soul-baring could change that.

"I think it's best that we don't," Mikan finally said quietly. "I think we both know that too much has happened tonight. Frankly, I don't think being alone is the best idea right now." _Or maybe ever._

"Including with me?"

"Especially with you."

He understood of course.

Despite the intensity of the close distance between them, it felt as if they were still 6000 miles from each other.

Nineteen months were still nineteen months too long.

* * *

A lot of warning signs had lit up way before Mikan and Natsume broke up. She should've known when he didn't seem supportive of her choices, when they spent more time apart, when he would forget about their plans. She should've known once she realized she was happier when he wasn't telling her what to do. Breaking up was something that would have happened eventually as they grew apart, but just because it was expected didn't mean she wasn't heartbroken. Half of Mikan foolishly believed she and Natsume could make it through, but when they didn't, she wasn't surprised the very least. But it still hurt like hell, and being with him again, even for just a brief moment, made her realize all these things once more. For a long time, she stopped remembering the painful things and only thought of the good, but after last night, she thought that perhaps there were still wounds that needed tending.

Ever since Mikan moved out of the Academy, she started living in Hotaru's apartment couch. She was trying to find an apartment closer to her university because Hotaru wouldn't let her get a dorm ("You can't live with other people. You're messy, loud, and cry too much when _Grave of the Fireflies_ comes on").

"Conference?" she asked as Hotaru stepped out of her bedroom in a nice cream pantsuit.

"Dinner with Ruka. Are you going out tonight?"

"No, and stop going on dates with Ruka like you're going on a meeting. Put on some jeans or something."

"Do I tell you how to live your life?" Hotaru demanded. Mikan shook her head, biting back a laugh. "I thought so. There's food in the fridge, but if you're ordering, don't get pizza. Get a decent meal. Also, I hid all the coffee so you can't have any."

"Bye, mom, enjoy your date," she rolled her eyes in amusement. Once Hotaru was out, Mikan started phoning the pizza place downtown.

It had been two weeks since the party and Natsume and Mikan didn't talk anymore since then. Both of them wanted to but it seemed that they were already more than nineteen months away from each other. Natsume flew back to Basel, and she didn't know how long he would be there this time. One month had became a year, who knew how one week could become? But it wasn't her job to know anymore, although she still thought of him like she would a friend. Meanwhile, Mikan still went to school, coming home to Hotaru on weekdays and pretending that she doesn't hear Ruka tiptoeing when it's two AM on a school/work night.

After ordering her regular— medium _chiki-teri_ pizza with _choregi_ salad— she switched the channels, trying to look for something that didn't involve reality tv. Her phone rang; it was a message from Hotaru: " _Grave of the Fireflies, 8pm. Don't watch."_ She laughed.

The next time her phone rang was ten minutes to eight in the evening. Mikan couldn't resist her smile. It was probably Hotaru checking to see if her face wasn't glued to that wretchedly sad movie.

" _Hey_."

This was not Hotaru.

"Hi," she gulped, and even though she had a hint who he was, she still needed to confirm, "Natsume?"

" _Hey_ ," he cleared his throat.

"Hi?" was Milan's really confused answer. "Since when were you home?"

A pause. " _In fourteen hours_." Overhead, emergency and safety procedures started to play.

She laughed upon hearing this. "Is your phone supposed to be on?"

" _No one's telling me to turn it off._ "

"Must be nice to be drop-dead gorgeous and immune to rules," she mused out loud. "You really should turn off your phone, though."

" _Not until I get my answer._ "

"To what?"

" _Did you really go to university to prove a point_?"

"Come on, Natsume," Mikan fidgeted on her seat uncomfortably. "Just hang up. We'll talk later."

" _Not until you answer_."

She took a deep breath. "Not to you. To me."

There was a pause, and if it weren't for the ongoing reminder of the flight attendant about safety procedures, Mikan would have thought that he had hung up the phone. " _I'm sorry_ ," he finally breathed out.

Although nineteen-months-younger Mikan would have thrown a party at those words, she was hardly the same person, and she had long accepted the fact that Natsume, although flawed and wrong about a lot of things, wasn't completely wrong about certain ones. "No, you're right," she told him. "Volunteering doesn't pay the bills. If I kept it up, Hotaru would've picked me up from the streets any day."

" _I still shouldn't have meddled. I should've let you do your own thing._ "

"Yeah, you shouldn't have," she agreed, but from behind the phone she knew she could allow herself to smile. "I should have learned it myself."

" _I'm sorry it took a breakup for me to learn that._ "

Mikan bit her lip before letting out what she felt. "You know, before I went to the party, I was scared. I was nervous and I even tried to delay coming over. I guess I still wanted to look well-put in front of you, even though I've moved on. I just didn't want you to see the same person you left almost two years ago. But sitting with you then, getting to have a decent conversation, I couldn't remember why I was ever nervous." She laughed, and just as the opening credits for _Grave of the Fireflies_ came on, she said, "And Natsume, it's okay. Nothing a good rewind can't fix, right?"

* * *

 **A/N:** My goal for this chapter was not to make anyone cry. It was inspired by real-life events of ex-lovers meeting for the first time after a long time. You know you've moved on- you _think_ and _believe_ you've moved on. But sometimes no matter how much you've changed since the breakup, just the sight of this person from your past can make a lot of difference; it can make your progress vanish to oblivion, or you can come out even better and stronger. There's nothing wrong with having feelings; you're human and you're entitled to have emotions. You can feel wistful about the past or you can curse that mouth-breather for still being alive. And contrary to popular opinion, you can keep a conversation without wanting to kill the other. The point is, _you're not the same person anymore_. What happens to the both of you from then on is a completely different story. _Rewind_ talks about how Natsume and Mikan changed after the breakup, their varied coping mechanisms, and the persons they became after it. Breakups may be sad, yes, but know that they're never ineffectual.

Props if you recognized some of the lines! I hope to see you again for part three, _Play_ , to be posted as a new story. :)

* * *

 **-BONUS-**

"Job well done, don't you think?" Narumi said jovially as he watched his two former students disappear to the balcony.

"You're too meddlesome," Misaki shook his head disapprovingly. "If people find out, you'll get fired. Or Hyuuga will set you on fire."

"I'm sure Natsume and Mikan will appreciate my efforts in, say, three months."

"Unlikely," Serina commented, but there was no denying the spark in her eyes.

"Twenty and a bean whip," Narumi challenged his friend.

Misaki pursed his lips. "Two bean whips."

As they both shook hands, Narumi stage-whispered, "This is why my students love me."

"No, we don't," Sumire rolled her eyes. "It's because you let us do anything we wanted. I mean, you let Natsume pass his classes just by being handsome."

"I seem to remember you seconding the motion every time he did that," Mochu snickered.

Wakako scoffed. "I guess that's why you two broke up."

Narumi's ears twitched upon hearing this. Two of his former students breaking up? Well, he couldn't have that. "Mochu, might we have a little chat about…"

As they walked off, Sumire groaned, staring daggers at her friend and roommate. "You just _had_ to let him know, didn't you?"


End file.
